anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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