Sponge bath it is.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize