In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize