apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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