Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
someone owes me an orgasm
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize