I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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