Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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