I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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