Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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(416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg

Replies (64) Good night (993) Bad night (6625)
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(954): View more from Florida

So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.

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(954): So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had. http://tfl.nu/ag2c

Replies (98) Good night (1987) Bad night (22593)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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(807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu

Replies (46) Good night (7206) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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(212): View more from New York

I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.

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(212): I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it. http://tfl.nu/1ysm

Replies (22) Good night (7346) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.

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(419): I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight. http://tfl.nu/kz23

Replies (46) Good night (8576) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?

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(419): I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included? http://tfl.nu/4lo3

Replies (17) Good night (4992) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

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(504): Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine. http://tfl.nu/uqy7

Replies (13) Good night (2005) Bad night (2513) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.

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(612): Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us. http://tfl.nu/wdqz

Replies (5) Good night (4264) Bad night (970)
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(516): View more from New York

the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

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(516): the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it. http://tfl.nu/0mw3

Replies (3) Good night (1998) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.

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(502): Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt. http://tfl.nu/f1ui

Replies (10) Good night (3013) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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(+61): View more from Australia

It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.

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(+61): It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix. http://tfl.nu/uj3b

Replies (7) Good night (804) Bad night (1245) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.

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(304): High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/jxf6

Replies (14) Good night (1901) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.

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(314): The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder. http://tfl.nu/bkbj

Replies (11) Good night (2048) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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(705): View more from Ontario

The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.

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(705): The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me. http://tfl.nu/d1xs

Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (254) Order T-Shirt
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(409): View more from Texas

I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.

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(409): I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it. http://tfl.nu/vd4l

Replies (4) Good night (447) Bad night (211)

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