dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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