ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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