Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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