hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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