I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize