i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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