So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
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I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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