This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize