someone threw a dead crab at me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We don't watch enough power rangers
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize