Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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