I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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