My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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