i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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