he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize