she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize