i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize