I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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