hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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