so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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