508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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