textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize