R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just found a bag of teeth...
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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