Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize