Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize