i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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