I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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