i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize