It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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