It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
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sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
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The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
that is very illegal...i love you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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