Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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