I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He did a backflip because drugs
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