she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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