Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
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Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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