hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize