There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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