Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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