he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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