I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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