I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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