obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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