I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize